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Casino Jokes That Will Make You Laugh out Loud

Life is tense, and so are the live casino games.

Everyone needs to have a little laugh here and there because that’s the only way to have a long and fulfilled life.

The live casino world is a world filled with puns and funny names, and that’s a material for various jokes that can relax you, whether you’re a professional gambler or just want to have a good laugh.

Check out some of the best gambling jokes in the casino industry. 


Long Casino Jokes

A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he’s in serious financial trouble. He’s so desperate he decides to ask God for help. He begins to pray…

“God, please help me. I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery.”

Lottery night comes and somebody else wins it.

Joe again prays…

“God, please let me win the lottery! I’ve lost my business, my house and I’m going to lose my car as well.”

Lotto night comes and Joe still has no luck.

Once again, he prays…

“My God, why have you forsaken me? I’ve lost my business, my house, and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don’t often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lottery this one time so I can get my life back in order.”

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Joe is confronted by the voice of God Himself:

“Joe, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket.”

While doctor Miller is drinking his coffee at home, he hears his phone ringing. He answers and hears the familiar voice of his colleague, calling him for a game of poker. ‘I’ll be right over’, said doctor Miller quietly and he went to put on his coat. Mrs. Miller walks right to him and asks worriedly: ‘Is it serious?’. The doctor replies: ‘Oh, yes, it’s quite serious. There are three doctors there already waiting for me!’

Short Casino Jokes

Your best chance to get a Royal Flush in a casino is in the bathroom.

What has a heart and no organs? A deck of cards!

Why is gambling banned in Africa? – Too many cheetahs!

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, “Alice, pack up your things. I just won the California lottery!”

Alice replies, “Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?”

The man responds, “I don’t care. Just so long as you’re out of the house by noon!”

Puns

China’s currency will depreciate soon. Yuan bet?

Jeff was a little shy at the Poker table. He didn’t want to show his hand just yet.

How does the Eskimo make a house of cards? Igloos it! (It glues it)

These are only a very smart portion of what the casino jokes have to offer.

They are funny and even make you think so that at the end, when you finally get them, you can laugh your heart out and have no regrets!